HOMER: …I’m trying to impress people here Lisa. You don’t win friends with salad. BART: [Musically.] You don’t win friends with salad! You don’t win friends with salad! You don’t win friends with salad! [Homer, and then Marge, join in.] LISA: Mom! MARGE: I don’t mean to take sides, I just got caught up in the rhythm.
The Simpsons: Season 7, Episode 5
Homer clearly had never eaten this salad when he decreed, “You don’t win friends with salad.” Upon sitting down to this, my husband said that calling this a salad was an insult to the meal. Generally, my favorite salads are those made by other people, but this one was easy, filling, delicious, and healthy. I chose eggplant, zucchini, bell peppers, and portabella mushrooms, but use whichever veggies you like.
Chicken adapted from Joshua Bousel’s “The Best Juicy Grilled Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts” on Serious Eats. Serves 4.
For the veggies:
1 eggplant
2 portabella mushrooms
2 bell peppers
3 medium zucchini
Vegetable or olive oil
Salt and pepper, fresh ground preferred
For the chicken:
4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves (6 to 8 ounces each), tender removed
Kosher salt
1/4 cup sugar (if making a wet brine)
Freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
For the dressing:
1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1/4 cup lime juice
1/2 cup packed cilantro leaves
1/2 teaspoon Kosher Salt
1/2 jalapeno, seeded
1 clove garlic
For the salad:
12-14oz salad greens of your choice
tomatoes of your choice
Place chicken breasts in a resealable plastic bag or between two pieces of plastic wrap. Using a meat pounder, rolling pin, or small skillet, pound chicken into an even thickness, about 3/4 inch in height.
If making a wet brine, dissolve 1/3 cup kosher salt and 1/4 cup sugar in 2 quarts water. Place chicken breasts in brine and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes and up to overnight. If making a dry brine, set a wire rack over a rimmed baking sheet and arrange chicken breasts on it. Sprinkle generously all over with salt on both sides, then refrigerate, uncovered, for at least 30 minutes and up to overnight.
Make the dressing. Put olive oil, lime juice, cilantro, jalapeno, garlic, and salt into a blender or food processor and blend until garlic and jalapeno have broken down.
Preheat a gas grill on high for 10 minutes. Clean and oil grill grates.
Prepare the veggies. Slice the eggplant and zucchini lengthwise into planks. Cut the bell peppers in half and remove the core/seeds. Optionally de-gill the portabellas. Brush the veggies with oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Grill veggies 3-5 minutes on each side and remove from grill. Slice into bite sized pieces and reserve for salad assembly.
Close grill lid to reheat for at least 5 minutes, turning off one of the burners. If using a wet brine, remove chicken breasts from brine, pat dry with paper towels, season to taste with salt and pepper, and brush lightly with olive oil. If using a dry brine, season with pepper and brush lightly with olive oil.
Place chicken over hot side of grill and cook until well browned, 3-5 minutes. Flip and continue to cook until second side is browned and chicken is just cooked through, or until the center registers 165°F on an instant-read thermometer. If second side browns before chicken is done, move to cool side of grill, cover, and let cook until chicken is ready. Remove chicken from grill, let rest 5 minutes, then slice into bite sized pieces.
To assemble the salad, lay down a bed of greens, top with generous amounts of grilled veggies, tomatoes and half the chicken. Drizzle dressing over top.